I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
