Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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