Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
