Your tits are I can't wait for
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
