im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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