Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
50% drunk capacity currently
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
