By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
