I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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