Porn is love you can see.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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