Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
