I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
