I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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