Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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