Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
