Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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