How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
