Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
