Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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