He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
