You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
