Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
