wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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