Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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