yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize