she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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