i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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