Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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