dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
