My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
