hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
