So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
