Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize