Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize