I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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