she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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