...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
