Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
