Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
