I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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