Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
