a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Randomize
