Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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