Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
