What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
