Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
