so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
this hospital has no fireball
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
