I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
