Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
