My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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