What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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