There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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