eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
