The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Duck Duck Cougar?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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