U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This girl is more easily done than said...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
