Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
