so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
