we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
