The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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