Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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