Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize