What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
